The Ultimate Big Black Bag

If there is one thing you need to keep in your car, home, and office for all purposes, it is the good old black bag. In fact, after writing this list I’m going to keep them in my handbag. Hell, they can BE my handbag. Read these five reasons you should stock up on our super-tough but delightfully-cheap black bags today.

Weight Loss
Yup, I said that. It will become the Sandton sensation of the year. My dad told me that when he was in the Army they had the “fat boy program” where the chubby guys had to weigh in every so often. On the day that they would have to weigh in they would wear garbage bags all day and sweat like mad to make the weight. Need to fit in that little black dress? Maybe the wedding dress is a bit snug?? Never fear, our black bags are near! Wear a couple of these and go for a gym session, or just lie in the sun sipping a beer and hope for the best.

First Aid Essential
South Africa is not for sissies, and one day you may well find yourself in a situation where you will have to administer first aid in the bundus or the ‘burbs, and you will have to utilise whatever you have close-by. Hopefully you have our versatile and thick black bags close at hand, because they are super useful!
Keep a bandage clean and waterproofed with some black bag and sellotape - this is quite handy to keep a cast dry if you need to shower too. A strip of the stuff makes a handy tourniquet if someone is thoughtlessly bleeding everywhere, and if someone has injured their shoulder and you need a sling, guess what makes a great lightweight substitute? That’s right. The good old black bag.

Personal Comfort and Fashion
If it's good for Lady Gaga, it's good for us. What could be more proudly South African than a black-bag emergency poncho? We’ve all been caught by surprise by the African weather. No need to get those cornrows wet or ruin your sneaks. Who is going to keep you dry? We are. That’s who.
Not even the cold is a challenge! A couple of these bad boys make excellent insulation in the biting winter, whether you wear one under your clothes instead of those boring colonial vests, or stuff them into your duvet with you. Warm, dry, and black looks good with everything.

The Ultimate Container
Of course use it for garbage, but this staple is the original varsity student’s laundry bag, make-do luggage set, the ultimate back-pack when moving house. They are just damned useful things for trekking stuff around, and our bags are stupid thick so they won’t spill your stuff on the pavement like your best friend after a few tequilas. When camping it can be used for foraging, storing food and water, and in a pinch it can accommodate the ultimate garbage: the emergency toilet. We’ve all been there on the highway after Curry Night when nature calls. This super-sealed bag just means that other people won’t need to suffer the after-effects with you.

Survival Staple
When the zombie apocalypse hits, know what you don’t want to be without? BLACK BAGS. These bad boys can tie together to make ropes, be used as solar stills to collect drinking water, become emergency shelter and insulation in one, act as a windsock or a firestarter, be both sunshade and ground cover when you are living off the land, plus when bundled up they aren’t half bad as a pillow. If you are unfortunate enough to become one of the zombies, you could use them to keep your people parts fresh or store brains for later with no leakage. Just saying.

Get yours here now, now from just fourteen bucks!

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