Just for laughs...

13 Dads Who Rock Twitter 0

As we get ready to celebrate all things Dad this weekend, we thought of what we loved most about our fathers... and their sense of humour definitely won out.

You need only look up "Dad jokes" to realise just how good they are at being bad, but for your viewing pleasure we have compiled our favourites.

1. Only Dad can be that optimistic

2. What did you do, Dad?

3. Don't take it personally.

4. #dadjokes 

5. Let your kids down easy.

6. Dad has the best advice.

7. They are the most involved parents.

8. To be fair, mom was probably bored too.

9. Lucky dad has a direct line to Santa too.

10. The answer is always "yes".

11. Puppies don't buy you socks and biltong though.

12. Dad knows.

13. If he doesn't scar you, is he even really your dad?

Laughed? Show the love and share!

PETROL HIKE: Why It Happens and What You Can Do About It 0

Ai... our honeymoon with Cyril was short, huh? South Africans are feeling under assault at the moment, with yet another drastic petrol price increase. But what causes it, how does it affect you, and what can you do about it?

WHY ANOTHER INCREASE IN FUEL?

In a nutshell, the cost of crude oil rose in volatile trade, as indications of stronger global demand exceeded constant concerns about a supply surplus. This is largely due to the continued fighting in Libya, where rival forces continue to clash. The Islamists are still locked in tit-for-tat air strikes on oil fields and an airport, against forces aligned with General Khalifa Haftar.
Besides the fluctuating price of crude oil though, several other factors also influence the price we pay when we fill up our cars. Here’s what also affects it:

1. Rand depreciation.
Because oil is traded in Dollars, the Rand/Dollar exchange rate affects how many Rands we need to pay for a barrel of oil. Over recent months, the Rand has depreciated against the Dollar, which means that even though the petrol price may have dropped, it actually now costs more Rands to buy the same amount of oil. The net effect of this in recent months is a drop in the petrol price, but not as much as if the Rand had kept its same value.

2. Fuel levies.
The National Roads Act of 1971 allows the South African government to collect a fuel levy from every litre of fuel that’s sold. Since 1998, the government has collected over R240 billion in this way. Ahead of the new budgets soon to be released, it’s expected that taxes on petrol will be increased in order to pay for budget items such as the failing e-toll system.

3. Wholesale margins.
Fuel wholesalers in South Africa consist of the seven major oil companies in addition to around 600 independent wholesalers. The government sets the wholesale margin, keeping it stable at around 15%.

4. Retail margins.
There are approximately 4600 service stations in South Africa who all need to make a profit on the petrol they sell Like the wholesale margin, South Africa’s petrol’s retail profit margin is fixed by the Department of Energy, and is determined by individual costs of each service station including things like rental, interest, labour, overheads and entrepreneurial compensation.

5. Transport and delivery costs.
Petrol and diesel are transported to depots and petrol stations by pipelines, rail, sea and road, the costs for which are then added on to the petrol price. This explains why fuel costs are less in coastal cities where there are ports nearby, as opposed to inland cities where fuel needs to be transported further via trucks.

HOW DOES THE PETROL PRICE AFFECT ME?

A whole lot, actually.
- Firstly, you will have less free cash to spend on luxuries such as clothing, eating out and leisurely activities such as holidays (and the like).
- As the cost of fuel continues to increase, the cost of getting basic necessities - particularly food - invariably goes up too, so get ready for a bigger grocery bill for starters.
- If you use public transport, things will still be fairly stable as incremental increases are controlled by the government, but be prepared to pay slightly more than you were initially budgeting for.

There is good news, though: One thing which you won't need to worry about is the impact on electricity prices. Since Eskom is so heavily dependent on coal (an estimated 77% of our total energy needs are met by coal alone), thankfully things are not set to change here!

WHAT CAN I DO TO SAVE MONEY?

There are the obvious ones of carpooling, organising lift clubs for kids, planning trips carefully, using the cheapest public transport you can, and robbing a petrol station (we are kidding about that last one, but we thought about it a LOT).
One of the major but easy ways you can save money is by either buying in bulk, or buying wholesale. Your essential cleaning products are a great place to start, as you can hardly cut back on toilet paper and washing powder... but you CAN continue to get the same quality products at a cheaper price through www.cleaninghub.co.za!

Visit our site today and see the difference in buying your essentials from us. Maximise savings by considering a stokvel, where each member contributes towards the cost of buying in bulk, and gets their essentials at a fraction of the expense.

The Nose Knows: The Good, The Bad, and The Unstinkable 0

This might sound like common scents (el oh el) but the aroma of breakfast is a man’s favourite smell while for women it is a newborn baby, according to the latest research. Scents are being used for everything from relaxation in aromatherapy, to tiggering buying behaviour in cinemas with the scent of popcorn. Cleaning Hub looks at the science behind the sniff...

1. A new nose
You can smell as fresh as a daisy every month and your scent cells are renewed every 28 days, so every four weeks you get a new “nose”.

2. Nostalgic noses
Smell is the most sensitive of the senses - we can remember smells with 65% accuracy after a year, while visual recall is about 50% after three months. Research has shown that smell is the sense most linked to our emotional recollection. So, when linked to a product, that can reap dividends.
Studies show that 75% of emotions are triggered by smell which is linked to pleasure, well-being, emotion and memory – handy when you want people to buy your products: for example, one of the most evocative smells from childhood is crayons… A survey found that 85% of all people remembered their childhood when they caught the smell of Crayola crayons and the newer crayon-scented coloured pens!

3. Your nose gets bored
The sense of smell gets bored easily. When entering a bakery or florist you are very aware of the aroma but by the time you reach the check-out you will no longer be able to smell the different aromas around you. Good if you work in a sewage plant!

4. Early developer
The sense of smell is the first of all our senses to develop. Even before we are born, our sense of smell is fully formed and functioning.



5. Women win
A woman’s sense of smell is much stronger than a man’s. It is heightened even more in the first half of the menstrual cycle and reaches its peak when she is most fertile.

6. Peaks and sniffs
The sense of smell peaks when we are in our late teens and begins a gradual decline. People who have an impaired ability to smell, and therefore taste, tend to follow diets that are less healthy in an effort to excite their senses.



7. Tis the season
You can smell things better in the spring and summer, due to the additional moisture in the air. For the same reason, it is also stronger after exercise, which also increases the moisture in the nasal passage.

8. Animals rule
Humans have five to six million odour detecting cells but that is nothing compared to the animal kingdom. Rabbits have 100 million and a dog 220 million. Polar bears can smell a seal under three feet of ice, and black bears can detect a food source from 18 miles away!



9. Don’t sweat it
Forget fingerprints and DNA, perspiration could be the big thing for crime busting in the future. Chemists say that the food we eat, drugs we take, gender and even state of mind, all combine to make each person’s sweat unique.
Tel Aviv University’s School of Chemistry are breaking down the components of human sweat as a new kind of ID, saying each person has his or her own chemical fingerprint.

10. Best smell
While humans each have a favourite smell, so too do animals. Cats like the smell of valerian, lions a mint smell and camels like the smell of tobacco.
Q: Do you know why men like it when women wear leather?
A: Because they smell like a new bakkie.



11. A whiff of history
It is not enough now to go to museums to see the past come to life, you can smell it, too. At the Jorvik Viking Centre, a stench is pumped inside to give visitors a true simulation of what the Viking era would have smelled like. The museum attracts more than 14 million visitors a year who visit to experience smells such as a Viking toilet and village. Er… okay.

12. The nose knows
The human brain can process roughly 10,000 smells in an area the size of a postage stamp, each triggering a neural response. It’s worth looking after that fine-tuned sniffer though, because there are career paths in that:
https://www.thesinusdoctor.com/top-7-well-paid-jobs-you-can-only-get-if-you-have-a-very-good-nose/

13. New car smell
An artificial “new car smell” is sprayed inside cars that lasts for six weeks, and while not everyone can own a Rolls-Royce, at least you could get the smell: the car manufacturer reproduced the scent of the 1965 Silver Cloud and sprays it under the seats to recreate the smell of a classic Roller!
The same goes for flying. Singapore Airlines recreated a scent of the Orient for its flights. The aroma of lotus flowers and bamboo forests is put on hot towels for passengers.

14. Can you smell in your sleep?
The answer to the question if you share the bed with a farty partner is quite simply, no. As it turns out, the phrase wake up and smell the coffee is more true than you would imagine. When you are asleep, your sense of smell shuts down. You can only smell the coffee after you have woken up.



15. Smell means taste
Your sense of smell accounts for 75-95% of the impact a flavour has. Without being able to smell the difference between onion and potato, it’d be difficult to tell them apart.

16. No nose
People who cannot smell have a condition called anosmia.



17. The smell attraction
The way we smell plays a large part in who we are attracted to. In one study, a selection of women sniffed men’s shirts and were more attracted to the bodily scents of men who had a different type of gene section.

18. Bad smells
Spare a thought for the poor people who suffer from cacosmia: even a bunch of fresh flowers is horrible as they perceive all smells as something revolting, such as putrid or vomit.

We care about your sense of smell, which is why our Habitat “Winds of Change” air fresheners are actually air sanitisers - they don’t just mask odours, they eliminate them! Buy now and grab a R50 discount off your next shop.

Winter Is Coming... 5 Things You Need To Do To Avoid Dying 0

Shorter daylight hours.
Frost.
Misery.
Winter is coming.



But we can help you to make it a bit easier! The best solution is to move to Mauritius.
No, huh? Hmmm.
Okay, in that case we have some tips and tricks to mitigate the agony that comes with the sun abandoning us for five months.

FROSTY...



Jozi loves whacking us with a good frost, but let’s not complain because it kills all the goggas. What it also kills is your garden. Be sure to wrap up your trees now, and to keep your lawn alive follow these principles:
1. Keep watering! It might seem counterintuitive, but watering your grass the night before an expected frost will help keep your lawn warm and prevent damaging frost.
2. Fertilise before frost, because this gives your lawn essential nutrients needed to sustain itself through winter.
3. Keep mowing, even when it does get colder, and continue until you see the growth slow. It is essential to keep your grass at 2 to 2 1/2 inches tall throughout the autumn months. If it gets longer than 3 inches, it can mat, but if it is shorter than 2 inches, its ability to store food for growth will be limited.

BRRRRRR



Before you rush out and buy an electric heater and hike up your electricity bill, consider some of these eco-friendly options for keeping your home snug and warm:
1. Insulate your home
Insulating your home means it will stay cool in the summer and warmer in winter. You will find that insulation costs around R600 per roll, and the average home will use around six rolls.
2. Wrap up your geyser
As an alternative to turning up the thermostat for hot water, think about fitting a geyser blanket. An inexpensive option, at around R400, a geyser blanket allows you to keep the thermostat setting low, keeping your electricity usage down, yet still have plenty of hot water.
3. Draught-proof your home
Windows and doors are the main culprits for a cold home. Gaps around windows or doors allow hot air to escape, and cool air in. Fit a draught-proofing strip at the bottom of exterior doors and add draught-proofing strips to windows. Old blankets, a tattered rug or fabric scraps are perfect for making your own draught-excluder. Remember to also keep all your doors closed to reduce heat loss.

COUGH COUGH 



We know that germs cause sickness, not cold weather, but everyone is still whining. How to avoid pestilence and disease this winter?
1. Get vaccinated! Seriously. It’s 70 bucks at a pharmacy. If you’re a hippie you can load up on Viral Guard and vitamin C but the science there is fuzzy at best. Whatever makes you feel better, though.
2. Look after yourself - this means plenty of rest and protein. If you start to get sick, take yourself off to bed and indulge in the good ol’ chicken soup to help your body bounce back.
3. Don’t be gross… wash your hands and cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze. This is the MAJOR way germs are spread. Florence Nightingale was on the money when she pioneered the simple hand wash.

BOW WOW WHOA



It’s cold for Fido too! Although SA doesn’t really get cold enough for concern, animals still need to be looked after.
1. Proper housing for outdoor pets is a must. Make sure that their doors face away from the elements, there is adequate insulation, and that the floor is raised at least 3 inches.
2. Give them more food, and add some warm water to their drinking bowls to encourage them to stay hydrated. We all need a bit of winter padding, and staying warm burns calories. Just ask your wife when she’s having another hot chocolate.
3. Seriously, just bring them inside.

GIVE A LITTLE BIT



Warm hands, warm heart… warm yourself by giving this winter! It’s tough out there and if you are in a position to give you are better off than the majority of SA.
1. 67 Blankets for Nelson Mandela Day is a charity that collects handmade knitted or crocheted blankets from volunteers, to distribute to a specific charity each year on Mandela Day. So, if you are a knitwit who’s able to make a blanket, with love from you to someone in need, get in touch with 67 Blankets on info@67blankets.co.za for more info.
2. New Beginningz
New Beginningz is a local NPO that focuses on providing care for children living on the streets, from abandoned newborn babies to children of 18 years of age. There’s a big need for baby toiletries and food, including nappies, wipes, bum cream, good quality bottles, receiving blankets, Purity food and non-perishable food items. Putting together a hamper with these items, to deliver to New Beginningz, is a great way to make a real-world contribution in caring for the future generation of our country.
Details: http://www.newbeginningz.org.za  
3. The CEO Sleepout
Love it or hate it, I am down with some rich guys shivering for even one night to raise money for charity. Know someone you think deserves some perspective? Let’s alleviate them of some rands. Visit https://theceosleepoutza.co.za for more information.

And, the best part about winter is that it ends. And then there are braais, swimming cozzies, cold beers and early mornings to look forward to. And mozzies. And sweating. Actually… I think I’ll just enjoy the brisk mornings and hot chocolate for a little while.

Winter Is Coming... 5 Things You Need To Do To Avoid Dying 0

Shorter daylight hours.
Frost.
Misery.
Winter is coming.



But we can help you to make it a bit easier! The best solution is to move to Mauritius.
No, huh? Hmmm.
Okay, in that case we have some tips and tricks to mitigate the agony that comes with the sun abandoning us for five months.

FROSTY...



Jozi loves whacking us with a good frost, but let’s not complain because it kills all the goggas. What it also kills is your garden. Be sure to wrap up your trees now, and to keep your lawn alive follow these principles:
1. Keep watering! It might seem counterintuitive, but watering your grass the night before an expected frost will help keep your lawn warm and prevent damaging frost.
2. Fertilise before frost, because this gives your lawn essential nutrients needed to sustain itself through winter.
3. Keep mowing, even when it does get colder, and continue until you see the growth slow. It is essential to keep your grass at 2 to 2 1/2 inches tall throughout the autumn months. If it gets longer than 3 inches, it can mat, but if it is shorter than 2 inches, its ability to store food for growth will be limited.

BRRRRRR



Before you rush out and buy an electric heater and hike up your electricity bill, consider some of these eco-friendly options for keeping your home snug and warm:
1. Insulate your home
Insulating your home means it will stay cool in the summer and warmer in winter. You will find that insulation costs around R600 per roll, and the average home will use around six rolls.
2. Wrap up your geyser
As an alternative to turning up the thermostat for hot water, think about fitting a geyser blanket. An inexpensive option, at around R400, a geyser blanket allows you to keep the thermostat setting low, keeping your electricity usage down, yet still have plenty of hot water.
3. Draught-proof your home
Windows and doors are the main culprits for a cold home. Gaps around windows or doors allow hot air to escape, and cool air in. Fit a draught-proofing strip at the bottom of exterior doors and add draught-proofing strips to windows. Old blankets, a tattered rug or fabric scraps are perfect for making your own draught-excluder. Remember to also keep all your doors closed to reduce heat loss.

COUGH COUGH 



We know that germs cause sickness, not cold weather, but everyone is still whining. How to avoid pestilence and disease this winter?
1. Get vaccinated! Seriously. It’s 70 bucks at a pharmacy. If you’re a hippie you can load up on Viral Guard and vitamin C but the science there is fuzzy at best. Whatever makes you feel better, though.
2. Look after yourself - this means plenty of rest and protein. If you start to get sick, take yourself off to bed and indulge in the good ol’ chicken soup to help your body bounce back.
3. Don’t be gross… wash your hands and cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze. This is the MAJOR way germs are spread. Florence Nightingale was on the money when she pioneered the simple hand wash.

BOW WOW WHOA



It’s cold for Fido too! Although SA doesn’t really get cold enough for concern, animals still need to be looked after.
1. Proper housing for outdoor pets is a must. Make sure that their doors face away from the elements, there is adequate insulation, and that the floor is raised at least 3 inches.
2. Give them more food, and add some warm water to their drinking bowls to encourage them to stay hydrated. We all need a bit of winter padding, and staying warm burns calories. Just ask your wife when she’s having another hot chocolate.
3. Seriously, just bring them inside.

GIVE A LITTLE BIT



Warm hands, warm heart… warm yourself by giving this winter! It’s tough out there and if you are in a position to give you are better off than the majority of SA.
1. 67 Blankets for Nelson Mandela Day is a charity that collects handmade knitted or crocheted blankets from volunteers, to distribute to a specific charity each year on Mandela Day. So, if you are a knitwit who’s able to make a blanket, with love from you to someone in need, get in touch with 67 Blankets on info@67blankets.co.za for more info.
2. New Beginningz
New Beginningz is a local NPO that focuses on providing care for children living on the streets, from abandoned newborn babies to children of 18 years of age. There’s a big need for baby toiletries and food, including nappies, wipes, bum cream, good quality bottles, receiving blankets, Purity food and non-perishable food items. Putting together a hamper with these items, to deliver to New Beginningz, is a great way to make a real-world contribution in caring for the future generation of our country.
Details: http://www.newbeginningz.org.za  
3. The CEO Sleepout
Love it or hate it, I am down with some rich guys shivering for even one night to raise money for charity. Know someone you think deserves some perspective? Let’s alleviate them of some rands. Visit https://theceosleepoutza.co.za for more information.

And, the best part about winter is that it ends. And then there are braais, swimming cozzies, cold beers and early mornings to look forward to. And mozzies. And sweating. Actually… I think I’ll just enjoy the brisk mornings and hot chocolate for a little while.

Back To Reality: Long Weekend Recovery 101 0

Long weekends are awesome, but today it’s the reality of going back to work, and most of us feel about as motivated as Jacob Zuma attending court.



While it’s tempting to spend the day procrastinating and crying into our whiskey… er, coffee… the best way to tackle this and make the most of it is actually being productive. I know, I’m being THAT guy, the vegan cross-fitter who jogged to work and makes you want to poison their protein shake, but they have a point: studies prove that starting off the new day after a long weekend with a motivated POA boosts not only productivity, but energy levels and mood.

For the best tips, we decided to ask our friends. Then we laughed and decided to get some real advice from our CEO and Chief Toilet Roll Distributor, Matthew Smith, who started up this magical little company from scratch, and worked the whole weekend anyway so he has no sympathy with any of us...

Start early.
Since you’re just putting off the inevitable anyway, give yourself a leg up with a head start. Try and go in a few hours early on your first day and catch up prior to the actual start of the day. Otherwise just get up earlier, go for a five minute run, shower, and at least start off feeling fresh and totally not like you were fantasising about running away from home.

Make a plan. 
Having a to-do list is never a bad idea, but on the first day back after a break it’s especially helpful to keep you mentally focused. Spend 10 to 15 minutes at the beginning of the day mapping out your desired accomplishments and prioritise the tasks that are most important. If your attention starts to drift, the list will help keep you on track. If that doesn’t work get your co-workers to taser you every time you start daydreaming.

And for the love of all things beautiful, don’t put things off till after the weekend. That is a terrible idea, because you are most likely to spend the last day of the weekend in a state of anxious dread knowing what you have to tackle on Tuesday morning.